If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love. - Michel de Montaigne
Tomorrow is Nik and my tenth wedding anniversary.
I could spend this time lamenting the fact that we didn’t have the wedding I had anticipated, that I never got to be the celebrated center of attention at a big cheerful wedding ceremony. I could spend my energy feeling regretful that we can no longer fit into our wedding day clothes. I could spend this night before our anniversary pining for our youth – the pre-child simplicity and ease of the romance we once had as 20-somethings. I could look back with regret on the mistakes I’ve made, the arguments that have transpired, the days that went unnoticed, the moments that could have been better if only I had been more loving or more perfect.
Or I can live this anniversary with sheer gratitude … Gratitude for the two utterly miraculous lives we’ve brought into the world together; for the awe we both feel simultaneously and equally for the boys we are watching become men unto themselves; for the animals we have loved and watched grow old; for the evolutions we have witnessed each other experience; for the home we have created for our family; for learning unconditional love between humans; for the privilege of having been together long enough to see grey hairs and facial lines on ourselves and each other; and for the years of life we’ve been given since that day.
Than you Anitra…very timely as always. I struggle between the light and dark of our marriage, but have noticed of late that I concentrate too much on the latter. I appreciate the reminder…
Jonathan
Jonathan … Everyone struggles between the light and dark of marriage. That’s why marriage is considered “hard work” at times. No one is free of the dark that happens sometimes. I guess the light is, how you get through those dark times. Hang in there …
Love is a dream when we’re young. Only years of acting out the love leads to its reality. You can’t have love in the early years – not what love is truly. The wedding day is hopefully a down-payment on the reality of love. Remember, it was a pledge and only that. Pledges are largely for show. Ups and downs are stuff of which love is made. Nice post Anitra.
Beautiful!
Thank you, Nadine!
Anitra,
Congratulations to you and Nik!
Gratitude is so powerful. Life changes if we can just feel the kind of gratitude you write about here.
Tom