Just a few days ago, Sarah Majoras still walked this planet, my dear friend still had his life partner, a mother still had her daughter, a world still had its Sarah. And just a few days ago, in another town about 500 miles north, Catherine “Kitty” Houghton still walked this planet, the world still had its vibrant Kitty spreading her brilliance and spending her life giving to others all across the globe.
When a beloved friend’s girlfriend walks home from work as she always has and is found five days later, deceased, in a frozen canal; when a 70-year-old colleague is stabbed to death in a senseless act of violence in a town where no such violence has ever occurred; when those you love are drowning in grief and pain over two lost lives in three days, then it becomes hideously apparent that no, life is not fair. Bad things can and do happen to good - really good – people. This is real, this is fact.
But no one said that life would be fair, so why do we expect it to be? No one said that good people would not die tragically, that friends would not suffer, that two people in two different towns that mean something to you can’t both die in the same week. No one said that this terrible week of horrible fates could not happen.
What to do when the unfairness of life screams in your face – twice in one week? Question God for a moment, question your faith for a moment, question the meaning of all of this for a moment or two or three, question whether something – anything – good can come of any of this. And then pick up the pieces and move on, with the same lessons learned once again:
- When life is unfair and the pain is too great to bear, remember this, that better moments will arrive, that good will always rise yet again - sometimes in moments too minuscule to be noticed without a magnifying glass … but they will rise again like waves, sometimes small and sometimes giant, out the ocean of despair. Life will someday be sweet and have its moments of joy, passion, and serendipity once again, despite how despondent we may feel in this one moment, or week, or month.
- In the end, all that really matters is love. Did you love Sarah Majoras? Did you love Kitty Houghton? Did you love another who died tragically or unfairly? Then that love is still very much alive. We don’t know when our time to love someone will be up. So, use these moments of darkness to ask yourself, Do I love well? If not, use the unfairness and temporariness of life, use the sudden and terrible losses of Sarah and Kitty, to love well in words and deeds, starting now.